Tuesday 26 June 2018

LADIES: Don’t agree to be his girlfriend before knowing these signs

Yea! He approaches you, compliment your beauty, says he likes you and wants to start off something with you, fortunately for him, you return the feeling…




Have you taken out time to know who this guy is? Have you carefully observed him to know if you guys are compatible? Agreeing to date him because he is cute, rich, smart, has a good sense of humor or he has an amazing fashion sense isn’t going to determine how beautiful your relationship will be. Well… all relationships might not end up in marriage but you could cherish those beautiful memories you had with him. If you rush into dating the man that turns your head 360 degrees without taking the time to observe him, you could be getting yourself into a trap; you deserve better. Ensure that these warning signs aren’t present before agreeing to be involved in a romantic relationship with him.

He has serious anger issues




Watch how he reacts to things and situations. Does he get pissed off easily? Have you seen him angry to the point that it scared you? A man that doesn’t know how to control his temper when faced with situations or when his anger is influenced by external factors will one day lash out at you. At the initial stage of your dating, he may try to hide the fact that he has an ill-temper issue just to please you but on a long run, there is a high possibility that you could suffer physical and psychological abuse from him. I am sure you wouldn’t want to leave that relationship with a broken arm, or disfigured face. So you have the chance now to run for your life once you can spot that part of him. Please, dearie! Don't say you can change him, NO! You absolutely can’t. The change has to come from him and not you. He may one day slap you and apologize romantically calling it a big mistake, my dear that’s how it starts, from one slap to two, then blow... Do not be deceived, open your eyes widely!

He has a girlfriend




Has he approached you for a relationship even when you know he has a girlfriend? My dear, don't even think of it. Do not let the sweet deceptive words that come out from his mouth becloud your sense of judgment. He may tell you how trapped he is in his relationship and how his girlfriend has suddenly developed character and behavioral issues, and then showers praises and compliments on you. If you were that special, why is he still with her? Don't you think that he will say the same bad things about you to another lady once you both are in a relationship? If he lied to you about being single and you find out, leave the jerk because you deserve someone better.  

He doesn’t want to be seen with you in public

Are you dating a guy who would rather not be seen with you in public? He hasn’t at least introduced you to his friends and he doesn’t want to meet yours. He doesn’t take you along to events. He privately flirts with you but when you are outside, he acts like he doesn’t know you. This is another warning sign you should look out for. He may naturally be a shy and reserved person but if he always has a problem with people noticing you together; he refuses you to post your pictures and tag him on social media, then he is either hiding something or is simply being a jerk

You have caught him lying several times

If during your hangouts with him, he has lied to you severally, it is a bad sign. There is no guarantee that he will become more truthful to you if you start dating. What is the need for a relationship without trust? 

He is mean and arrogant to other people




Do you notice that he is mean and arrogant to others? - The waiters, cashiers, friends, family, or strangers. If you do, then it is a red flag. He could be all kind and sweet to you but the moment he gets comfortable with you, then you will continuously get several doses of his rude and disrespectful behaviors. Don’t go about lecturing him on how to treat people, instead save that strength and time for a better person. 

You have been warned about him from several people

When it comes to the matters of the heart, it is good to listen to what your heart says. Personally, I like giving people the benefit of the doubt until they show their real self. If it is just a person that speaks ill about the guy you want to date, you may choose to ignore but when you have been warned by several people/friends about him then you will need to ‘tread with caution’. Ensure to find out what these people are saying before it gets late. There could be an element of truth in their warnings. Sometimes, you can get emotionally entangled in your relationship that you may not see the red flags.

He has told you that he is not ready to commit



Photo credit: Getty Images

Has he told you before dating you that he doesn’t want commitment? Don’t take that for granted because he actually meant it. He may not yet be over his ex, or he is just not ready for a serious relationship. If you still agree to be with him despite the warning with the thoughts that he will later take you seriously and become committed, then you will only become frustrated and stressed in the relationship. Honey! You deserve better.

He has tried making you do what you are not comfortable with

No one should force you to do things against your will. Whether it’s a small favor or not, you shouldn’t be forced into doing what you are not comfortable with.
Rather than pressuring you, he should respect, understand and support your decisions. If he doesn't care about your feelings and decisions, but his own selfish desires then you should have no business with him.

He has no focus

This is another important factor to look out for before agreeing to be in a relationship with him if you are in for a serious relationship.  You should ensure that he is purposeful. Find out his short-term and long-term goals and how you fit in. You shouldn’t be with someone who has no drive for success or realistic plans for the future.

Your lifestyle differences




Agreeing to date him regardless of your lifestyle differences solely depends on you. What may not work for some other lady may be appealing to you. He may come from the South-West region while you are from the South-East region; he could be a Muslim while you are Christian, he may be an introvert while you are an extrovert; if you are not comfortable with these differences, then there is no point in wasting your time and energy dating him.

Talking about sex on first dates




If each time you hang out or talk, your date keeps talking about sexual fantasies and anticipates having sex with you- this is can be another red flag. He is opened to taking advantage if the opportunity presents itself. That guy may only see you as a ‘spot-fish’ that he wishes to eat and leave the remains. If you are in for a serious relationship then you should look the other way.

He is too good to be true




During dating, everyone wants to be at their best to impress the other person. If he keeps blowing your mind and appearing as your dream man, rather than being carried away, observe him carefully. He could actually be a real gentleman or a fraudster who wants to impress you in order to get what he wants.
All of these signs may not be applicable to one person but if you happen to notice any of these signs in your date, then you should save yourself the stress, energy and time and go for someone who deserves you. Unless you are out to have fun, if you are looking for a serious relationship then you should take these signs into considerations.
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