Do you feel you have lost yourself and don’t know who you are anymore?
Do you find yourself doing the bidding of others and relying on their judgments in your actions and decision makings?
Do you feel as if you don’t exist anymore and only exist for others?
Well, at certain times in our lives, many of us may have gone through painful experiences- shock, trauma or loss that have caused us to lose touch with our true self; you may be currently experiencing such. I have also lost touch with my true self: I realized I could no longer recognize myself. I hated the fact that things did not go as planned for me and every effort I made to get back on my feet seemed abortive. I lost confidence in myself and my decisions. I thought the worst of every new situation I encountered. I felt frustrated like I was drowning and no one could see me. I pulled away from everyone that mattered to me in solitude. I just had to discover what happened to all that joy and exuberance I used to feel. I had to work towards aligning myself with my mind and environment.
"Losing touch with your true self means losing your identity, that is your original goals, dreams and passions" -- Susan Pielsticker
Here are signs you are losing touch with your true self.
You may feel so lost in the maze of your mind that you lose touch with reality. Anxiety is an emotional state in which there is a feeling of uneasiness and fear. This feeling is usually experienced when an event seems threatening and cannot be predicted or controlled.
As the voice in the head gets going, it is prone to make a story out of an event, develop an attitude and opinion about it, and relive it in countless ways. This remembrance manifests as anger, complaints, and negativity. Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud suggested that anxiety results from internal, unconscious conflicts. The physical symptoms of anxiety reflect a chronic “readiness” to deal with some future threat. These symptoms might include fidgeting, sleeping problems, muscle tension, and headache. Higher levels of anxiety may produce such symptoms as rapid heartbeat, sweating, increased blood pressure, nausea, and dizziness.
You have got to discover what bothers you, confront your fears and be optimistic.
“The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it, Immortalize it, cry over it, kick it, defame it, stalk it, gossip about it, pray over it, put it down or dissect its motives it continues to rot in your brain. It is dead, it is over. It is gone. It is done. It is time to bury it because it is smelling up your life and no one wants to near your rotten corpse of memories and decaying attitude. Be the funeral director of your life and bury that thing!” -- Shannon L. Alder
- You feel unhappy deep down
Feeling unhappy most times is an indication that something is not going down well within you. Are you feeling trapped or chocked up with your current situation- relationship, job, family, an aspect of your life or the people around you?
You have to pay close attention to your emotions and feelings to discover the source of your unhappiness and make the necessary changes to become happy.
If you find yourself always seeking a ‘yes’, ‘go ahead’ from people then this is an indication that you are losing touch with yourself. It is as a result of lack of confidence and trust in your abilities and decisions. Why do you concentrate on the thoughts of others rather than what you think? Seeking opinion or approval from people is not a bad thing. However, you can’t always live your life or do things based on the acceptance and reassurance of people. Everyone is entitled to their opinion which may either be favorable to you or not, so you must learn to listen yourself, believe in yourself and trust your intuition.
- Seeking acceptance and approval from others
“No one can actually determine how bad or good something can be except you” -- Anonymous
Hanging around people you don’t like is a sign of losing your way to being your true self. You don’t have to be with people who you can’t connect with because there is no alignment in your views and expressions. Being with friends who share the same values with you makes you comfortable, happy and helps you express your true self.
- Being around people you don't like
Do you feel deprived of something and wish to deprive others of it also?
- You judge others
If you find yourself always judging others, it is a sign that you are out of alignment with your inner self. This can appear as a feeling of jealousy, intimidation or insecurity. It can indicate that you feel uncomfortable that others are attaining a certain height that you are yet to climb to or someone is being in the spotlight and you are nowhere to be found.
“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” -- Earl Nightingale
In putting up acts to please the society, family, and friends you lose touch with your true self.
- You feel like a fraud
Most times, we wear masks to hide our true selves from the world.
“You were born an original, don’t die a copy” -- John Mason
Are you fond of blaming everyone for your misfortunes? If so, you will do yourself no good because casting stones on others prevents you from identifying and resolving your problems. Blaming others is used as a defense mechanism to cope with problems and feel better about ourselves.
- Blaming others for your problems
“It’s time to care; it’s time to take responsibility; it’s time to lead; it’s time for a change; it’s time to be true to our greatest self; it’s time to stop blaming others.” -- Steve Maraboli,
“Blame doesn't empower you. It keeps you stuck in a place you don't want to be because you don't want to make the temporary, but painful decision, to be responsible for the outcome of your own life's happiness.” -- Shannon L. Alder
According to Eckhart Tolle, “When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world”.
I hope being aware of these signs will help you in your journey to discovering your true self.